Join us during #NationalGriefAwarenessWeek to look at the connection between grief and hoarding.
Grief and Hoarding Disorder may seem like separate struggles, but they are often intertwined. For those coping with loss, the accumulation of possessions can feel like a way to hold onto memories, control, or comfort. By addressing the underlying grief and offering empathetic support, we can help individuals break free from the cycle of hoarding and move toward healing.
How Grief Can Lead to Hoarding
- Holding Onto Memories: When grieving, individuals often struggle to let go of items that hold sentimental value, these objects are physical reminders of their loved ones or of a time in life they’ve lost. For some, this attachment to possessions can grow uncontrollable, and the amount of items held onto can take over the individuals home space.
- Fear of Forgetting: Many people with Hoarding Disorder fear that letting go of items associated with their loss may lead to forgetting the person or experience. This can result in excessive accumulation of seemingly insignificant items, such as old clothing, papers, or personal effects, that are tied to memories.
- Seeking Comfort in Possessions: The act of acquiring or holding onto items can provide temporary emotional relief. For someone grieving, possessions can feel like a source of stability, safety, or control in a world that feels chaotic after a loss. Some find comfort in continuing to purchase items for their late loved one, as if they were still here or might return, over time this can grow to an uncontrollable levels that start impacting their living spaces.
- Loss of Decision-Making Ability: Grief can impair decision-making, leading to indecisiveness about what to keep and what to discard. For someone with Hoarding Disorder, this difficulty often compounds, resulting in piles of untouched items accumulating over time.
- A Manifestation of Unresolved Emotions: When grief remains unprocessed, it can manifest physically in the form of clutter and hoarding. The belongings may act as a barrier, symbolically shielding the individual from the pain of their emotions.
How to Support Someone Struggling with Grief and Hoarding
For someone dealing with both grief and hoarding, the weight of emotional and physical clutter can feel unbearable. Understanding this connection is the first step toward providing supportive intervention, which requires compassion, patience, and understanding. Here are a few ways to help:
Offer Nonjudgmental Support:
Avoid criticising their environment or behavior. Instead, listen empathetically and acknowledge the pain they are experiencing. Let them know they are not alone and that their feelings are valid.
Encourage Professional Help:
A huge element of managing hoarding behaviour is to address and work on the underlying cause, therapy can be a great tool for handling grief as it helps to process all the emotions and changes that come with loss. Overtime this will aid the individual in getting a handle of their hoard.
Help Preserve Memories Without Physical Clutter:
Offer alternatives for preserving memories, such as taking photographs of sentimental items or creating a scrapbook. This can help ease the emotional pain of letting go while still honouring their connection to the past.
Focus on Small Steps:
Suggest starting with small, manageable tasks, such as sorting through one drawer or box at a time, and start with items that have the least emotional connection, so they can get used to the idea of letting go without it being incredibly painful or overwhelming at the get go. Never demand to clear large areas all at once.
Be Patient:
Recovery is not linear, each individuals hoarding journey is different and the process does take time, then added to by how grief is also personal to each person and has no expiration date. The process can be slow but it must in order to achieve the most successful and long lasting outcome. Celebrate small victories and remain supportive, even when setbacks occur.
Grief and Hoarding Disorder are deeply interconnected for many individuals, however, with the right support and resources, it is possible to address both the emotional and physical challenges they face. Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting—it means finding healthier ways to honour memories while reclaiming control over one’s space and life.
Whether you’re struggling with Hoarding Disorder yourself or supporting someone who is, understanding the impact of grief can provide the foundation for compassionate care and meaningful change. Together, we can help individuals move toward healing, hope, and a brighter future.
Learn in depth how trauma impacts hoarding and how to offer support
CPD Accredited Trauma Informed Approaches to Hoarding Behaviours
Certain behaviours, such as hoarding, are often a way of coping with, and trying to heal, distress. This course will provide understanding on the link between Trauma and Hoarding Behaviour and how you can best support clients without triggering re-traumatisation.
Module 1 – Background to Trauma & Hoarding
- The diagnostic criteria of hoarding and where it sits in the DSM.
- What trauma-informed services look like.
Module 2 – Compassionate Intervention
- How to start compassionate conversations with someone who is hoarding.
- The psychology and neurology behind hoarding behaviours.
Module 3 – Treatment Pathways
- An exploration of current treatment pathways and supportive interventions
- Hoarding and harm reduction.
Trainer Kayley Hyman, MSc in mental health, is founder of Holistic Hoarding which offers a offers a therapeutic approach to supporting individuals with Hoarding Disorder.
Leave a Reply